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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789370">can't keep it up (when you look at me like this)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyCallMeBol/pseuds/TheyCallMeBol'>TheyCallMeBol</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SK8 the Infinity (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Mutual Pining, Snowboarding, but you know, dumb teenagers not talking about feelings, excesive amount of, just... pining from a distance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:15:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,409</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789370</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheyCallMeBol/pseuds/TheyCallMeBol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's one of those situations -the plane ticket it's already paid, Reki, we can't tell her- it's one of those situations when a snowball falls, down the slope and just bounces, getting bigger and bigger, and you can't really stop it. Not until it comes crashing down and shatters.</p><p> </p><p>Langa and his mom are visiting Canada. Reki wants to learn how to snowboard. It seems easy enough, doesn't it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>443</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>welp, im in sk8 hell now, it seems</p><p>this! is going to be a short story! i just wrote this after talking w some friends and boom, before i realized i had this written</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts something innocent enough, really.</p><p> </p><p>Langa has never lied to his mom before.</p><p> </p><p>It’s one of those days where the rain is so thick they can’t go outside to skate, and Reki’s sisters are great but a little intimidating, so he suggests going to his house instead. They are lying on his bed, watching some video on his phone, when a notification pops up. Langa swipes, but Reki is Reki, so he asks about it.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. It’s nothing,” he says, blinking. “It’s a snowboarding channel I used to follow.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t watch it anymore?” Reki asks, reclined on his elbows, Langa makes a point of not looking.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh, not really? I’m just not into snowboarding anymore,” he says, brushing the fingerprints on his phone until they fade.</p><p> </p><p>Reki hums, resting against the headboard again, head shy of <em> actually </em>leaning on Langa’s shoulder. “Can you show me? You are always doing cool shit but I haven’t seen proper snowboarding.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah- sure.”</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the afternoon goes by like this, Reki getting more and more excited with every video, and rambling fast enough Langa can’t follow -he loves it- about board lengths and designs and the curves of the board and he misses his mom telling them dinner is ready twice.</p><p> </p><p>“We are coming!” he tells her, and Reki shoves him off bed, Langa shoves back, just to hear him snicker under his breath. She nods, face relaxed and eyes crinkling at the edges, just like every time she sees them together. Langa’s chest feels warm, just knowing how much his mom likes Reki.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn- I won’t get it out of my head now,” Reki says, messing up his hair the exact same way Langa wants to do it himself. “I want to snowboard.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Langa says, as they walk to the dining room. “I could teach you.”</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have snow here Langa,” Reki sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“What are you boys talking about?” his mom asks as she hands them the dishes to lay the table.</p><p> </p><p>“Snowboarding!” Reki says with a big grin. “A pity we don’t have any mountains nearby.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, I know!” mom says clasping her hands together. “Langa and I are going to go back to Canada next month, for his grandma’s birthday!”</p><p> </p><p>“Langa,” Reki whines, frowning. “You didn’t tell me that.”</p><p> </p><p>“I forgot,” he says, grabbing the cups Reki doesn’t reach. </p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t you come Reki?”</p><p> </p><p>His fingers falter, <em>what</em>? Langa thinks.</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Reki says, eyes sparkling. How he does that, Langa has no idea. Maybe it’s only Langa who sees it. Other people should be able to see it too, with how bright Reki is. “That’d be awesome!”</p><p> </p><p>Mom and Reki start a conversation about traveling and visiting Canada, and Langa spaces out, thinking about how Reki doesn’t have proper winter clothes -he can lend them his-, how he doesn’t even like cold, how he could get sick, the passport, the-</p><p> </p><p>Reki and his mom laugh, and he sighs, eating his dinner quietly. He had been dreading coming back to Canada. With Reki by his side? Excited and melting the cold with his smile? Langa can bear the clouds.</p><p> </p><p>It isn’t until he’s washing the dishes, Reki sitting on top of the counter on his phone and telling him some school drama, that they realize. It's routine, at this point, the kind Langa doesn't mind. They'll have dinner, Langa will stand up to do the dishes, cause mom works a lot, and Reki will follow, whining about letting him do it this time, that he has to repay them for dinner, <em>Langa</em>, he'll whine, <em>Langa let me get the dishes this time. </em>And Langa will give in, but not completely, just because he enjoys Reki's scrunched up nose, and he will hand him the cloth and Reki will sigh but dutifully dry the dishes. Mom will turn on the TV, and the background noise will fill their silence as they share the space quietly, Reki humming, if Langa is lucky.</p><p> </p><p>Today Reki is too excited, the exchange not taking long enough for Langa to give in and allow him to help, so Reki is sitting, legs swaying slightly to a rythm only Reki knows, brushing against Langa's leg. He's lucky today too.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait,” Reki says, fingers hovering over the screen. He must have started looking for plane tickets. “Fuck- sorry- I don’t think I would be able to afford it. This is <em> very </em>expensive. Sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Mom’s face falls, previous smile turning into a sad grimace. Langa dries his hand on his pants and pats Reki’s knee, turning his palm upside down when Rekis covers his hand. Langa isn’t good with words, not really, but he has come to find, to his luck, that Reki is a touch person.</p><p> </p><p><em> We make a good team </em>.</p><p> </p><p>Mom eyes their intertwined hands for a second. “Well,” Langa’s head perks up. “We could… you know. We have points from traveling- we could pay it, if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my- really?!” Reki says, jumping from the counter and smiling impossibly wide. “That’d be amaz- wait, no, no-” he shakes his head. “No, that’d be wrong, I couldn’t let you-”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, really-”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, but I can’t accept it-”</p><p> </p><p>“Really, I insist-”</p><p> </p><p>“I just saw how expensive it is, I couldn’t in good conscience-”</p><p> </p><p>“It would help me a lot if you were there,” Langa whispers. They both shut up and look at him, eyes turning soft. Mom’s have a shade of pity over them, but not Reki’s, never Reki’s. He looks different, it always comes to that with him, doesn’t it. He looks at Langa like he’s the only thing he’s seeing clearly, like the rest of the world isn’t as defined. And maybe it’s projecting, that’s after all, how Langa sees Reki, but it does feel like that, deep in his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Would it really?” Reki asks softly. Langa nods.</p><p> </p><p>Mom squeals happily, jumping a little in her slippers. “Is it okay then? Will you come?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I have to speak with my parents-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll call them right now, are they home?” And it dissipates like that, chatter filling what used to be a quiet household not that long ago. A cold that followed them from Canada despite his mom’s best efforts, that’s only recently melting away.</p><p> </p><p>Reki is putting his shoes on, sitting on the floor and about to leave, a couple hours later, when it shatters.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks again, Hasegawa-san, really,” he says, and she just waves him off.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing really,” she says with a small smile. “This is such a little thing after all you’ve done for Langa. It’s not like I could deny his boyfriend!”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> What. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello!!</p><p>so, the number of chapters has changed asdfvgbh BUT i promise i wont make this super long, just, this is trying to grow plot against my will</p><p>Anywaysssssss, thanks to the loveliest, bestests of boys <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitane/pseuds/vitane">vitane</a> for beating this :')</p><p>hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Reki is not nervous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has never traveled out of Japan, not even out of Okinawa, so it’s his very first time on a plane. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he’s not nervous, not at all. He doesn’t care about all the stupid safety facts Koyomi made up about accidents in the last month. He has reassured Langa’s mom that he’s fine and he doesn’t need any pills, so he can’t back out now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pass the security control, and he puts on his belt and shoes quickly, following Langa into the duty-free area. He didn’t really bring a lot of money, and he has to buy presents for his sisters, Miya and Shadow, so he can’t spend his money here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes still catch on stuff, and of course, Langa notices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you hungry? Do you want something?” he asks, grabbing some of the stuff Reki was pretending not to want earlier..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no it’s okay-” he says, and catches Langas’ mom's soft smile. He gulps down. “But thanks, babe.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They haven’t really talked about it. Not more than a couple texts of Reki quite literally freaking out and Langa trying to calm him down. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do and what’s off limits as a boyfriend but the furious blush that covers Langa’s face makes it worth it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki smiles, grabbing his hand and nudging him with his elbow. “Don’t be shy, c’mon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki,” Langa whines, frowning. “Stop. Please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He chuckles, and nudges his friend one last time before letting go of his hand. Langa sighs, brushing the hair from his stupid fringe back- </span>
  <em>
    <span>you need to cut it. No, I don’t? You can’t see anything with those bangs! I can see perfectly fine.- </span>
  </em>
  <span>and walks ahead of them, plopping on a chair in front of a big screen with all the flights scheduled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s so shy,” Langa’s mom sighs fondly. “You have helped him come out of his shell a lot, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” Reki insists. Langa’s mom is constantly thanking him, even though it should be the other way around, with her covering all the traveling expenses. “I didn’t really have to do anything? He’s just like that around me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiles. “That’s exactly what I meant.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki nods, because what is he supposed to contradict this woman? Yeah, no.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sits next to Langa on the chair, and rolls his eyes at the silent treatment Langa is giving him. Reki takes out his phone and plays their playlist -the one he made for Langa- and holds one of the earphones without even looking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiles to himself when Langa takes it with a sigh and scoots closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki’s about to fall asleep, the playlist having changed to the depressing acoustic music Langa likes, when he feels the boy leaning over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have to talk about the pet names,” Langa whispers in his ear, and Reki suppresses a shudder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Overkill?” he asks, and Langa nods, pouting. “Damn- okay. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Is it his fault he saw a chance and took it? Really, the amount of times he has </span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span> called Langa babe is, simply put, embarrassing. Now, he has an excuse. It won’t be for a long time, but Reki’s determined to get it out of his system during this week.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa rests his head on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s fucked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some things Langa knew about Reki were that he loved skateboarding; he was an amazing artist; even though he pretended not to care, he was a great older brother; despite being average, he was self-conscious of his height; and that history wasn’t his strongest subject (at all).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some things Langa suspected about Reki were that he used scented shampoo, and that he was easily scared, by in general, a lot of things, including ghosts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa can now confirm one of those hunches.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grab my hand if you want to,” he says for the third time. The plane is moving now, taking a turn to situate on the track to take off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki shakes his head furiously, but his knuckles are turning white on the seat’s armrest. Langa sighs, and untangles the fingers, just as the plane is speeding up. Reki is trying to merge with the seat, probably, and his eyes are closed tightly, mouth too, his hands shaking in Langa’s.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” he tells him, but probably the noise of the plane and Reki’s own hushed prayers don’t let him hear it. “Hey, Reki, it’s okay, trust me.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki opens his eyes, squinting, not buying it for one second, and looks at Langa. He lies back, pointing at the window with his head, so Reki can see the view. Reki gasps excitedly, and lets go of Langa’s hands to throw himself at the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s half on Langa’s lap, the only thing actually stopping him is his seatbelt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This close, he can confirm his hunch about the shampoo too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a pretty long flight, first to Tokyo and then 14 hours to Vancouver. They have been saving a show to watch, but watching sitcoms for hours straight can only be fun for a couple hours. Reki doesn’t want to admit he’s too scared to stand up and go pee cause, what if there are turbulences right as he’s in the middle of it? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Langa goes and comes back, grabbing some snacks from the handbags and tossing one to Reki.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki checks the time. 5 hours. Time for video games, then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually, boredom gets to him and he does go to the bathroom, watches another couple episodes and then another movie, eats some more. But there’s so many hours Reki can take sitting, so he gives in to sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luckily, Langa is just the right height for his shoulder to be comfortable to sleep on. It’s kinda bony, but Reki scrunches up his scarf and makes a perfect pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa is a very solid sleeper, and he snores, just a little, but Reki doesn’t really mind. He has probably gotten a couple hours of sleep when Reki wakes up to Langa’s mom adjusting the jacket covering them both over their shoulders. She smiles, that warm smile of hers, and Reki smiles in turn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thinks he is dating her son, and she’s fine with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Guilt settles deep and heavy in his gut, so he mouths ‘thank you’, before closing his eyes again and leaning further into his makeshift pillow, taking refuge in Langa’s scent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sun is supposed to be up when they arrive, but the heavy clouds don’t really let him see anything. He’s covered from head to toe in warm clothes, wearing his scarf and everything, having </span>
  <em>
    <span>given up</span>
  </em>
  <span> his bandana to wear a damn beanie, but Reki is still shivering.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa is carrying his luggage cause he is too damn busy trying to bring his fingers back to life, blowing hot air on them and rubbing them as fast as he can, but there’s no use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Give me the suitcase,” he tells Langa, managing to stop his teeth from chattering for a couple seconds. Ranga quirks an eyebrow. Reki smiles, lips tight in a line and with his best puppy eyes. Langa gives in, because of course he does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they cross Vancouver airport and get to the parking zone Reki is positive he will pass out from the cold. That can happen, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa.” His friend hums. “Langa, I’m dying.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are not,” Langa says, but still turns to check on him. He stops, rubs his hands and brings him to Reki’s face, cupping his cheeks. Reki melts a little. “C’mon, I can see my grandparents' car from here, it will be warmer in the car.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A blue car honks, and a man comes out of it waving. He’s not even wearing a damn jacket, and Reki can feel his fucking bones rattling. Canadian people are truly made from something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Welcome!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” they say, and Reki nods, doing a poor attempt of saying it back, but with his chattering teeth and general shitty English, it just comes off weird. Who he assumes is Langa’s grandfather hugs him, and then Langa’s mom, and then gives his hand to Reki, who shakes it. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh my, he’s freezing, hurry, get inside!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki nods, because what is he supposed to do? And smiles, politely, waiting for Langa to translate. His supposed boyfriend just stays put, blinking, until a lightbulb lights up in his brain and he pushes Reki inside the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey- my luggage-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll deal with it, fasten your seatbelt Reki,” Langa’s mom says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki obeys, because of course he does, and then looks up, to find a woman </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>close to him, smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You must be Langa’s boyfriend!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> He understood like, 90% of that sentence, so he nods confidently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he says. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Nice to meet you!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, but you speak English!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the woman says, and Reki just keeps smiling. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>This makes it so much easier. I remember when Oliver introduced us to Nanako. She could barely speak a word!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki laughs, because she does, so it must have been something funny. But he feels more and more uncomfortable and exposed with every second she keeps rambling. He can get words, separately, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>maybe</span>
  </em>
  <span> a sense of what she means? But not really enough to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>... we were so happy when Nanako told us you both were coming-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Grandma,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Langa cuts her abruptly, entering the car and sitting in next to Reki. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s probably not understanding you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa speaks a lot slower than his grandma, pronouncing more clearly, and Reki gives him a grateful smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I uh-” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Reki tries, gulping down. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I speak basic English, sorry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, no, my bad-”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she says apologetically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Uhm- </span>
  </em>
  <span>I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You speak Japanese?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No she doesn’t, she learnt some basic stuff years ago when she thought mom hated her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t hate her!” Langa’s mom says, entering the car too, just as Langa’s grandfather closes his door. “I was just not used to them being so uh- open? And I had barely started dating Oliver, meeting his parents was just-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A bit too early?” Reki asked, avoiding Langa’s eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he had been studying a year abroad for university and convinced me to spend the summer with him in Canada,” she says, looking at her wedding ring. And Reki feels like a dick for asking. “So I understand how you are feeling Reki, just let me know if it feels a little too much, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh- no-” Fuck, can he not stick his foot in his mouth for </span>
  <em>
    <span>one </span>
  </em>
  <span>minute</span>
  <em>
    <span>?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Is that too much to ask? Make her pity you </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>remind her of her dead husband while you are at it! He looks at Langa’s, whose eyes are vacant, looking ahead. He gets like this, sometimes, so Reki grabs his hand, rubbing circles soothingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa’s eyes come back, and settle on their hands. He squeezes back. “I’m fine, really. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Reki tells Langa’s mom. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>A uh- chance to practice my English!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The grandparents laugh, and Reki breathes out, letting his head rest on the seat. He looks out the window, the sun high in the sky, and already making him feel the jet lag Langa warned him about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The drive from Vancouver to Revelstoke is long, and he’s bored, so Langa sleeps throughout the entire ride.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wakes up to Reki nudging him and sobers up immediately when he dares him to a race to the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s dumb, because Reki doesn’t even know what house it is, but like all things involving Reki, Langa accepts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The house is just as he remembers it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During the month they had to prepare before coming, Langa had warned Reki of a lot of stuff. The cold. The milk bags. The moose alerts. The colorful money. The people from his town that might remember Langa and their pitying eyes. The </span>
  <em>
    <span>cold</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But he had failed to warn him of one vital, vital thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His grandparent’s guest room only had one bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope it’s okay-” his mom says to Reki, who is nodding and smiling, more than Langa has ever seen him do, and he’s fairly familiar with smiling Reki. “I’m going to sleep at a friend’s house just down the street, and you two will be staying here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes of course!” Reki says, evidently ignoring how small Langa’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>childhood </span>
  </em>
  <span>bed actually is. He hasn’t slept there since, maybe his 10th Christmas, or something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come back for dinner, you two should get some more sleep, even if it feels weird, okay?” she asks, brushing Langa’s hair out of his eyes. Langa nods. “And don’t hesitate to ask me if you need anything, Reki.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure we’ll manage,” he says, already bouncing on the bed. Langa closes his eyes, slowly taking a breath. Sometimes he wonders if Reki is purposefully ignoring Langa’s obvious crush on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then he remembers he’d rather not know the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Grandma is making some poutine, Reki, do you like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what it is!” Reki says, as he opens his suitcase and takes his pajamas out. He must be more tired than Langa thought he’d be. “But I’m sure I’ll like it, thank you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” mom nods, biting the inside of her cheek. “You two </span>
  <em>
    <span>sleep</span>
  </em>
  <span>, I’m sure you are excited but tomorrow we’ll do more stuff okay? Just a little nap, you can show him around later.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, mom,” Langa says, almost pushing her out of the door. “See you at dinner.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa closes the door, turning to Reki with his lips pinched. He’s already shrugging off his sweats and changing into his pajamas as if Langa isn’t even there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The lamp his dad bought him for his 8th birthday, with little snowflakes that Langa has never paid attention to in his entire life, seems a lot more interesting now. Look at all those details. Incredible handwork. Super impressive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa,” Reki calls, and he can’t escape the pull, he’s never been able to. Not before, and much less now, with Reki almost drowning in his fluffy pajamas and patting the already unmade bed. “Are you not going to change?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hides in the bathroom, remembers he didn’t actually grab clothes, flushes the toilet to throw Reki off, exits again and grabs his clothes without looking at the boy in his bed, and changes as fast as he can, turning the light off as he enters the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart threatens to spill over the small, </span>
  <em>
    <span>miniscule</span>
  </em>
  <span> space that’s between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Reki says in the almost pitch black dark of the bedroom. Langa looks at him, trying to guess his features. He knows them by heart, after all. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Langa frowns. “Why wouldn’t I be?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Reki mutters, and finds his hands under the covers, even in the dark. Langa’s afraid he can feel his erratic heartbeat through them. “Isn’t this being hard for you? Being back here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa doesn’t answer because he kind of feels bad about it. Guilty. No. Being in this house doesn’t necessarily make him sad anymore, not like the all those times he walked by it on his way to school a year ago. It did, he used to take a big, big detour just to avoid walking by this street, but somewhere between the thousand one and the two thousand, his heart had stopped aching.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He feels guilty. He doesn’t feel sad anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey... you can talk about it with me,” Reki reassures him. “If you want.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa hums. “I know.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“K’ then,” Reki whispers, and turns, huddling further into the blankets, back to Langa, facing the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki wakes up, sweating, to a knock on the door and a muffled </span>
  <em>
    <span>lunch’s ready</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He elbows Langa, who is fast asleep merely inches away from him. Fuck, it’s really hot in here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa,” he nudges him. Langa hums. “Lunch, c’mon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa ignores him, hugging the pillow. Reki sighs and jumps over him. He sniffs himself on the way to the bathroom. How the </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell </span>
  </em>
  <span>did he sweat this much? He looks around, and finds the culprit sitting innocently on the floor. He checks out, and sure enough, there’s a little space heater next to their bed too. There’s also a sort of thermostat in the wall, and Reki walks up to it, shrugging off his shirt, throwing it to the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa, what’s this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s what...” he mumbles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The thermostat.” He kicks the mattress and Langa groans. “Why the hell would you need an entire furnace system </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>a space heater?” No answer. He kicks the bed again. “Langa, are you listening to me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend finally sits up, frowning at him and hair a mess. “For the cold, what else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s warm enough to be in summer clothes!” Reki tells him, and Langa just scrunches up his nose. Langa is a man of very few words, but Reki is fluent in Langa's grimaces. “Canada was supposed to be cold! You told me so like, a million times.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa rolls his eyes and stands up, messing his hair even more. “It’s cold enough outside. So it’s warm inside.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude,” Reki whines. “I didn’t bring warm clothes, like, at all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa blinks, a couple times, and then points at his own suitcase.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki closes his eyes and sighs. This is getting real domestic, real soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jet lag is a bitch, but they have lunch with grandma and grandpa, and he’s grateful they have significantly slowed down the speed at which they speak. Reki even chips in sometimes, a lot more confident with google translate to back him up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s going well, it’s going great, Langa’s telling them about school and how he’s settling in and their friends at S -omitting a certain creep- when they have to be well- them. Nosy, worried grandparents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“So, Reki,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>grandma says, putting some more food on Langa’s plate. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Were your parents okay with you visiting?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” she says slowly, and Reki nods with a confused smile. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I thought Japan was a lot less uh- accepting about gay people.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki’s eyes go wide as saucers and Langa clears his throat, looking pointedly at his grandparents, who seem to realize too late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks at Reki, trying to tell him he doesn’t have to answer when he sees him typing furiously on the phone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah- my family is supportive,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he says, smiling as he reads. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not the same in all households but,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he mumbles to himself something, biting his lip. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“But I am lucky. They don’t care about my bisexuality.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa loses his grip on his fork, and it clinks against his plate, piercing the sudden silence. His heart thumps twice, crawling up his throat, threatening to join the rest of grandam’s poutine </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God takes mercy on him, probably, and grandma starts talking again, putting more food in Reki’s dish as well, giving Langa a chance to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Reki is bi?</span>
  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope you liked this chapter!!<br/>and thank you so much for your lovely comments :')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy hello! :D<br/>how we doing beautiful people<br/>this has taking a little longer than i expected but well, life u kno<br/>anyhow, I hope u enjoy it! (and sorry for being such a dissaster answering comments asdfgh)<br/>And infinite thank us to amazing <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitane/pseuds/vitane">vitane</a> for beating this &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Here’s one of the main differences between Reki and Langa:</p><p> </p><p>Reki wakes up like he’s just booted up, he blinks his eyes open with the first light of the morning, and <em> demands </em> Langa wakes up too, cause it’s morning already! He promised to go snowboarding! They can’t waste the entire day in bed!</p><p> </p><p>But Langa <em> would </em> like to waste the entire day in bed. He likes to spend from 20 minutes to 45 postponing the alarm. He likes to revel on the warmth and huddle. And sue him, he would like to cuddle Reki on the only day he has a chance to do so. He had a plan and everything. Not a <em> good </em> plan, but it might have worked. </p><p> </p><p>He would turn, pretending to be asleep, and Reki would wake up with the movement, see Langa was sleeping, and not move ‘cause he’s like that, he minds other’s comfort before his own, and then Langa would just… scoot closer, maybe lay his head on Reki’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>But no, he woke up to Reki shouting and practically jumping in bed, tugging Langa’s blanket off him, and fuck, if anybody else did this, he would huff and ignore them, but when Reki does it’s endearing. He doesn’t really need the blanket’s warmth when the sight of Reki’s smile alone is enough to heat up his chest.</p><p> </p><p>He leans against the headrest as Reki crawls over him and runs to the bathroom promising not to use up all the hot water.</p><p> </p><p>Langa lets out a long sigh, closing his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Reki wakes up with enough energy to power an entire city, but he runs out of it quickly when he’s bored. Like a laptop that goes into hibernation when you don’t use it for 5 minutes. This is one of Langa’s favorite metaphors about Reki, the ones he thinks that if he told someone else they’d find them mildly funny, albeit a little bit creepy, ‘cause normal people don’t make this many metaphors about their friends. Langa also has some others he doesn’t feel as proud about, ‘cause he sounds like a sad, heartbroken poet, whining about an impossible love.</p><p> </p><p>He feels like a sad, heartbroken poet, every time he looks at Reki’s hands, there and unsuspecting, tapping on his knees to a rhythm only Reki knows. Langa’s own fingers twitch on the gear. Maybe if they were with his grandparents and they had to pretend, he could get away with reaching out and grabbing Reki’s hand to run his fingers over Reki’s slender ones, to intertwine them and squeeze. </p><p> </p><p>And Reki would look at him, with his bright, bright eyes, never cruel, never pitying, and he would smile, confusedly, but he would squeeze back. Langa lives a little in this moments. Moments that don’t happen but they could, with Reki by his side and in his mind as the main character of this scenes. He’s unsuspecting like his hands, but always comforting, because he never asks Langa for an explanation. Because Reki doesn’t know.</p><p> </p><p>Langa is driving his grandparents’ car to Revelstoke’s station. And at first, Reki had been very impressed, and even recorded him for the groupchat, scolding Langa for not having told him he could drive before. But like with most things, when the initial excitement passes, Reki relaxes, and eventually, their conversation - Reki talking, Langa humming and adding some stuff from time to time - dies off naturally, and Reki turns up the music, singing under his breath as he takes in the landscape.</p><p> </p><p>The first hundred times this happened, very often, too damn often for Langa’s liking, he panicked. He wasn’t able to keep a long conversation, and there was so much Reki could come up with to keep it going, and Langa had tried, desperately, to do it too, afraid the only person who actually bothered making an effort and talking to him would get bored and leave. But Reki dealt with silences almost as well as he dealt with conversations. And <em> that </em>, was so freeing. Langa could be quiet and he wouldn’t be cast out. Langa could talk about what he had in mind, no filter, not breaking his head to figure out what was appropriate to say now, no need to be funny, or deep, or do anything else besides being. And Reki would smile through all of it, through Langa’s awkwardness and long pauses or frown and scrunch up his nose and argue about it, or forget in the middle of a story what he was saying and just jump to something else.</p><p> </p><p>Or whisper songs in the silence of the car, head leaning on the window, as Langa drove.</p><p> </p><p>It’s one thing to love someone for their words, and another thing entirely to love them for their silences too, Langa has come to realize.</p><p> </p><p>The mountain resort is not even 20 minutes from his grandparents’, and he parks just at the door of Su’s place, his usual spot.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, this is it? You literally have tracks around the town?” Reki says, throwing the door open. </p><p> </p><p>“This is not part of the town anymore, it’s a resort,” Langa says, closing the car and grabbing Reki’s elbow before he can run to the slope.</p><p> </p><p>“But there're buildings?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hotels and shops,” Langa says, and frowns at Reki’s unzipped coat, like it’s personally offending him. He is pulling the zip up before he can think better of it, and because it’s Langa’s coat it is slightly big on him, covering up to his nose. Reki looks at him, nose and cheeks a little red and Langa huffs. How does he expect to not get cold going around in unzipped coats? </p><p> </p><p>Reki looks down again, putting his hands in his pockets. Good.</p><p> </p><p>“Where are we going now?” he asks, following Langa.</p><p> </p><p>“We have to pick a board for you.” He opens the door, the bell chiming above him, and a familiar head perks up. Her hair is green now, but Langa would recognize it anywhere.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Is that Langa Hasegawa?” </em> Su says in a fake gasp. <em> “The Langa Hasegawa?!” </em></p><p> </p><p>“In Japanese, Su, please,” he tells her, and she frowns slightly but she stands, looking over her desk until she catches sight of Reki.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello!” she says, kicking her chair and sliding out of the counter. She stands up and walks to them, hand outstretched. It’s covered in jewelry and Langa can spot the little tattoo she had done for her birthday, a couple months before he left. “Nice to meet you, I’m Atsuko but my friends call me Su. I guess Langa’s only friend can call me Su too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Langa pouts. “I told you I made more than one friend.”</p><p> </p><p>“And is it true?” she asks Reki, conspirationaly. Reki snickers, and Langa can’t help the fond sigh. Su doesn't miss it, of course.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Reki says, elbowing Langa slightly. “He’s actually pretty popular.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is he now?” Su says, smiling. Reki nods. “Wow. That’s definitely a first. We have a lot of catching up to do then.”</p><p> </p><p>“We are going snowboarding now, you can come if you want?” Reki smiles. “Oh, and I’m Reki Kyan, nice to meet you too.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Oh,” </em>Su says, a grin stretching wide across her face and eyes glistening in what Langa has learnt to recognise as trouble. “You are the-”</p><p> </p><p>“She has some hours of work ahead,” Langa says, taking Reki’s hand. “And we don’t have that many hours of sunlight. We still have to choose a board for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Su quirks an eyebrow, and Langa can hear her snort following them to the shelves with the boots.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me do my job,” she says, perching on Langa’s shoulder. “Reki- can I call you Reki? Foot size?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh- like 28?” he asks Langa.</p><p> </p><p>Langa hums, doing the math in his head. “10 or 10½, then…” he says, rummaging through the shelves looking for proper boots.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me search for them, you get him the board, I’m sure you are a lot more familiar with his height.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki frowns, still smiling, and looks at Langa with his adorable confused grimace. He <em> knew </em>Su was going to be a nuisance. Miya reminds him of her a lot, actually.</p><p> </p><p>“Boards are chosen depending on height? I should be able to use yours then, right?” Reki asks, cocking his head to the side. That’s, of course, what he would pick up on. And they call Langa the oblivious one. </p><p> </p><p>“Among other things, yeah.” If it were for someone else, Langa wouldn’t add anything. “Uh- do you want to know more?”</p><p> </p><p>Reki rolls his eyes. “What do you think.”</p><p> </p><p>Langa nods, and picks Su’s keys from the desk and takes him to the storage room. He didn’t work here for a year for nothing. “Okay, so,” he says, as the lights flicker on. Langa can’t believe they haven’t fixed the broken one yet. “The length of your snowboard will vary depending on your body weight and the type of riding you plan to do. For beginners… uh, I’d choose a standard one.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki nods, and starts to eye the boards as Langa does the actual work. He goes for the safest option, getting a longer board to give Reki as much stability as he can. It’s not like he can go teach him by the hand, like he did with a skateboard. But he trusts Reki to not break his arm. </p><p> </p><p>Again.</p><p> </p><p>“You are all set?” Su asks, boots in hand. “Have you snowboarded before Reki?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, but I skate,” he grins confidently. Langa is already dreaming of all the tending to Reki’s bruises he’s going to do in the near future. “I’m sure it can’t be that different.”</p><p> </p><p>“Remember you are going to have your feet strapped,” Langa says, finally deciding on one board, and pointing at the bindings. “You are not going to be able to take them off the board until you have stopped.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki frowns, twisting his mouth to the side for a second, but then shrugs. “How hard can it be.”</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>“LANGAAAAAAA!”</p><p> </p><p>He throws himself to the ground before he collapses on his friend, barely stopping himself from breaking his jaw by his hands and knees. He officially hates snowboarding. He can only stop from either falling on his ass or on his knees, and it’s starting to be painful. And cold.</p><p> </p><p>“I told you,” Langa tells him, appearing at his side. Damn. If Reki thought Langa on a skateboard was a sight for sore eyes, on a snowboard it’s something else entirely. He has an elegance, a grace, despite being quite literally tied to it, that explains, <em> finally, </em> how he’s so good at skating. He might as well have been born on an actual snowboard, judging by how he seems even more comfortable on it than walking. He takes the straps off without even looking, and is at Reki’s side pulling him up again in one second. “It’s not like skating. Please be more careful.”</p><p> </p><p>“I just need to find my balance,” Reki says through gritted teeth, hands gripping Langa’s arms tightly. “Let’s try again.”</p><p> </p><p>Langa nods, and he takes off one of Reki’s straps easily, helping him pull the damn thing up the small slope <em> again </em>. He keeps Reki standing - getting up from the floor is a little too hard for now - and takes a couple steps backwards. Reki opens his arms immediately, but relaxes when he realizes he’s not moving.</p><p> </p><p>“See? The board is stable, you won’t move or fall,” Langa tells him. “To put it in motion, you have to jump a little, and twist the board so it’s diagonal.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki tries, but maybe a little less intently than he actually can. He groans, and looks up at Langa. “A little help?”</p><p> </p><p>And as he expected, his friend dutifully walks to him, coat discarded with his own snowboard, a long-sleeved thermal shirt clinging to him in all the right places and making Reki go a little stupid. Langa pushes the board with a foot as he holds Reki. So really, it’s not his fault he’s a little lost in his concentrated eyes and the little peek of a tongue darting out his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>“If I let you go right now, you won’t fall, but if you jump a little in that way, like this…” he pushes Reki slightly, but stops the snowboard with his boot, grabbing him more firmly. “- see? You will fall in that direction.”</p><p> </p><p>“So left foot first, and slightly turned, just like skating then,” Reki nods, pretending to have been listening to him. Poor Langa has explained it, like, three times already. Maybe four. “And to turn?”</p><p> </p><p>Langa frowns. “Maybe try going one way first and stop, then we will try turning.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki agrees. He’d like to stop falling. </p><p> </p><p>He’s afraid that might be impossible around Langa, though.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, so to stop…” Langa moves his board again, like it doesn’t weigh anything, which Reki knows to not be true, ‘cause he hauled the damn thing up the slope barely 20 minutes ago. It’s hot. He tries to keep his head on the game though, can’t fall on his ass again if he wants to come back tomorrow. “You just try to put the board horizontally again, pressing against it, so the friction against the snow-”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, so I just turn it in the other direction?” </p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but keep it <em> horizontal </em>,” Langa tells him. “If you don’t, you’ll just fall in the other direction, like a zigzag.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can zigzag.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s try stopping first.”</p><p> </p><p>Stopping proves to be, indeed, a whole ordeal.</p><p> </p><p>Langa get’s angsty about seeing him fall so much, and honestly, it’s kind of hypocritical of him, considering how much<em> he </em>fell when he was learning to skate. Reki never fussed so much over him.</p><p> </p><p>“C’mon,” he says, mouth curled in a small pout. “Lunch? We can keep going later.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki is about to protest when his stomach growls, and he sighs. Langa arches an eyebrow with a little smirk and well, it’s not like Reki can say no. Taking the damn boots off is actually almost as hard as walking on them, they weight a ton and he looks like a duck, unlike the rest of the people in the small cabin Langa and him are using to dress up and leave their stuff, who are seemingly able to walk in the orthopedic robot shoes with no problem at all.</p><p> </p><p>Reki <em> tries </em> , but his feet hurt and you’d need a fucking university degree to take the damn thing off so he complains. He’s just, venting, you know. Exaggerating. Trying to be funny. But Langa will understand context 1 out of 5 times on a good day, so when Reki sighs dramatically and <em> jokes </em> that he’d just rather eat with the damn boots on, Langa, because of course he does, sits on the <em> damp </em> floor to take them off for him. He brushes the snow off Reki’s pants carefully and gives him a new pair of fuzzy socks, looking up with his impossibly soft blue eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Reki’s blush hasn’t faded by the time they find a place to eat. Langa orders for them, and he spots Su carrying a tray, just as he’s about to take the first bite.</p><p> </p><p>“Su!” he waves, calling her over. She takes one of her earbuds off and looks around until she spots them. Reki smiles. “Over here! Do you want to eat with us?”</p><p> </p><p>She smiles, and nods eagerly, pulling a chair next to Langa and sitting down. “How was your first time snowboarding?” she asks. “Did you give up already?”</p><p> </p><p>“What? No!” he huffs. Langa chuckles under his breath. “I fell… a couple of times. But I’m no quitter. No way. I’ll be snowboarding like a pro by the end of the week.”</p><p> </p><p>Su quirks an eyebrow. It’s pierced, just like her ears. She’s super cool, with her colourful hair and flashy clothes. How are Langa and her friends? They definitely don’t seem like the type of people that… fit together.</p><p> </p><p>Reki and him probably don’t seem to fit either, but well, skating is for all kinds of people.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you say so,” she says. “Langa, can you be a good best friend and go fill my drink?”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha-” he winces, and scowls at the innocent smile on Su’s face. Damn. She’s like an older Miya, Reki thinks. “Jesus, okay, just had to say please don’t need to kick me-” he grumbles, but stands up. “You want something else Reki?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uh- no- I’m fine,” he tells Langa. “Thank you, though.” Langa nods, walking off to the counter.</p><p> </p><p>Reki keeps staring at him the whole time, until Su clears her throat. Reki grimaces. She’s grinning, eyes hooded mischievously.</p><p> </p><p>“So…” He gulps down. “You are Reki. Langa has told me <em> a lot </em> about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I guess we are a little attached at the hip,” Reki shrugs. “Did… what did he say?”</p><p> </p><p>She cocks her hair to the side. “That you are very kind and helped him a lot there,” she says after a small silence. “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki smiles, and nods. So she’s like the nice, soft side of Miya too. “It’s not like it has been difficult or anything, Langa’s pretty great,” he says, head leaning on his hand, eyes finding the familiar mop of blue hair trying to get some extra napkins.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s dumb as shit,” she says, and Reki snickers. “But I’m glad you think so highly of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“How come you are friends?” She blinks a couple times.</p><p> </p><p>“He hasn’t told you?” She scratches her cheek. “Well, uh… we- I mean we are literally the only Japanese kids in the entire town and I’m a little older but we still stuck together through highschool. Our mothers are best friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, that’s so nice!” Reki says. “You snowboard too?”</p><p> </p><p>She clicks her tongue. “Nah. I’m more of a skii person myself. It’s faster.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, snowboarders are slowpokes, always on the way.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m faster than you.”</p><p> </p><p>She looks up, at a frowning Langa, who hands her a drink. </p><p> </p><p>“Up to debate,” she points out. ”And well, maybe <em> you </em> are not so bad. But the rest?”</p><p> </p><p>Langa ignores her and actually sits by Reki, moving his tray and everything. None of them miss it.</p><p> </p><p>“What did she tell you?” he asks, lips pressed together. Su snorts.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing loverboy, I’m a <em> good </em>friend,” she says, rolling her eyes. “And even a better ex.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A what. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-” Reki laughs. “Ex?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, didn’t Langa tell you?”</p><p> </p><p>Langa makes a strangled noise, face scrunched up.</p><p> </p><p>“We dated like, 2 years ago, while I was still in highschool,” she says, patting Langa’s hand. “It’s still hilarious to this day.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh- I didn’t know that,” Reki forces himself to say, smiling. “I’m glad it ended well.”</p><p> </p><p>Su snorts. “Yeah,” she laughs, and Reki doesn’t want to be rude but he also doesn’t really want to hear about it. “As well as a relationship between a-”</p><p> </p><p>“We are actually kind of...” he interrupts, closing his mouth immediately. “...fake dating. It was a whole situation... but… we have to make it credible to his family, so, since you have experience and stuff-” he laughs, trying to diffuse the situation. What the <em> fuck </em>is he even saying. ”...uh, any idea?”</p><p> </p><p>The incredulous stare she gives him sinks deep, deep into his stomach, and he tries to laugh it off but she interrupts him.</p><p> </p><p><em> “Langa what the fuck?! I can’t fucking believe you!” </em> she says, too quickly. Reki blinks. Fuck. She’s talking <em> too fast. </em> And now Langa is answering, frowning but not slowing down for him and they are going to talk about it and Reki’s going to be cast out - he thought he didn’t want to know but this actually feels worse. <em> “- again? How could you do this again-” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Su not now-” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You’re fucking unbelievable. Jesus fucking Christ-” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to the bathroom,” he says standing up quickly, not waiting for their answer. He closes the door behind himself and stares at his reflection.</p><p> </p><p>He feels like punching something. </p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p><em> “Look what you did,” </em>Langa tells Su angrily.</p><p> </p><p><em> “I didn’t do anything?” </em> she says rolling his eyes. <em> “What the fuck did you do? A fake relationship? Didn’t you learn how bad that ended when we did it?” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “It’s different,” </em> Langa says, pushing his food around the dish. Su hit his hand. <em> “Su.” </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “There might be slight difference, but still-”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p><em> “We were each other’s cover,” </em> he reminds her. <em> “That’s a pretty significant difference.” </em> </p><p> </p><p><em> “Okay, yes, it’s not like you would ever get feelings for me. And last time I checked you are a dude so.” </em> She rips the sauce packet with her teeth. Langa represses a shudder and hands her a napkin. <em> “The problem is that you do have feelings for him. And you said it was a crush but it doesn’t look like that to me, like, at all.” </em></p><p> </p><p>“<em> What does it matter if it’s a crush or not.” </em> He looks to the side. <em> “’Im just going to fuck it up. It’s only been two days and I already have this- knot on my throat jus thinking of coming back home and going back to normal.” </em></p><p> </p><p>She sighs, fondly. <em> “You keep sabotaging yourself, huh?” </em></p><p> </p><p>Langa scrunches up his nose. <em> “Is that what they teach at college now? Cheap psychology lines?” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “Do you know what I didn’t need college to teach me?” </em> she says, tilting her head towards the restroom. “ <em> That people flee when they are uncomfortable.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Langa rolls his eyes. <em> “Groundbreaking.” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “Listen,” </em> she says, slamming her hands on the table. She’s never been quiet, not with her ideas, with her appearances, she was always <em> shouting </em> to the world, loud in a way Langa was never able to be. <em> “Langa. He was jealous. Of course he wouldn’t want to listen to the person he likes talk about his ex.” </em></p><p> </p><p><em> “Reki doesn’t like me,” </em> he says, brows furrowing. <em> “... not like I do.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Su opens her purse, taking a metal straw from it. That’s new, but Langa guesses it’s another statement, so maybe it isn’t so new. She stabs it on her drink, and takes a long, long sip, looking at him with hooded eyes. She sighs. <em> “How blind can you be?” </em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry for that!” Reki says, sitting next to him again, with Reki’s smile #6, the polite one, in place. “I had been holding it since the mountain,” he laughs.</p><p> </p><p>Langa nods. “Do you want anything else? Dessert-”</p><p> </p><p>“No dude, thanks, I’m fine,” Reki smiles. “Also, I already paid for everything? So when you guys are ready to leav-”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait what- you paid for everything?” Langa frowns. Reki blinks, scratching his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh- yeah,” he says, taking his phone out, avoiding Langa’s stare. “I figured with how much money your mom is wasting on me already I’d-” Langa takes the phone away. “Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>“Not wasting,” Langa says, keeping the phone at arm’s length so Reki looks at him. “It’s not wasting money on you. We invited you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes but-”</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Langa says, mouth pinching at the sides. “Don’t say it again. I mean it. I’m happy you are here.”</p><p> </p><p>Reki frowns, avoiding his eyes, but nods, and it’s enough for Langa. He gives the phone back. </p><p> </p><p>“You paid for my order too?” Su asks, and Reki and him break eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh- yeah, I mean, thanks to you we didn’t have to pay anything for the snowboard and the boots so-”</p><p> </p><p>“Aww,” she says, taking Reki’s hands. He blushes. He <em> blushes. </em> Langa frowns. “ <em> Thank you </em>- dude, you are a keeper. Langa, don’t let him-” He kicks her under the table. “-fall. Off the snowboard,” she says pointedly. Reki blinks. “C’mon, my shift is done. I can join you two for a couple hours if you want.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s not necessary-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah sure!” Reki smiles, and Langa frowns deeper. Su is not usually mistaken, and she’s by far better at reading people than Langa is... but wouldn’t Reki be a little more reluctant to her joining if he was jealous as she said he was? Langa grabs his coat hurriedly, following the two of them outside.</p><p> </p><p>It was dumb to even entertain the possibility.</p><p> </p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>Going back for the second time is significantly easier.</p><p> </p><p>Reki has mastered the horizontal sliding, as he dubbed it. Langa has probably told him the technical term or whatever, but he has been having trouble actually listening to Langa all day, not when he looks like that, hair swept up by the goggles and a little flushed from the cold. </p><p> </p><p>He’d say he has gotten the hang of actually standing up. Unlike in skating, the difficult part is not staying on the board, but actually lifting yourself from the snow with enough momentum to put the table horizontally, but not too much that you’ll fall on your knees.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a challenge.</p><p> </p><p>Su is with them but she takes her own skiis and goes off to harder circuits, and at some point Reki feels bad.</p><p> </p><p>“You should be going with her,” he tells Langa, when he catches Reki again after doing a turn. He’s <em> almost </em>mastered those, but Langa insists on waiting for him down and catching him before he falls. He also tries to help him undo the straps, but Reki’s nothing if not stubborn, so he plants his ass on the frigging cold snow and learns to take the damn thing off on his own. It has taken a couple tries, but he can do it now. Langa’s still there, by his side as Reki hauls the snowboard up the slope for another try. “With Su.”</p><p> </p><p>Langa blinks. “Hm. Why?” </p><p> </p><p>“I mean, you see me every day, you haven’t seen her in months.”</p><p> </p><p>“We talk almost every night,” Langa says, cocking his head. “And you are learning.”</p><p> </p><p>“I can do this on my own, I don’t know- I don’t want to keep you here or anything. This must be boring for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Reki.” He doesn’t want a pity party, he’s just saying the truth. So he doesn’t wait for Langa and keeps walking.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just saying you’d have more fun-”</p><p> </p><p>Langa grabs his arm. “Reki.” He looks up, Langa shakes him a little. “I’m having fun because I’m with <em> you </em>. I haven’t been able to snowboard in many months.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god.” Reki pales. The snowboard falls to the ground. “Fuck- Oh my- <em> Langa </em>, I am so sorry, I didn’t-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Reki, </em>” Langa tells him, almost nose to nose. “Ugh- I’m trying- I’m enjoying it again, because I’m with you. Do you understand me?” </p><p> </p><p>Reki blinks, and Langa frowns harder, mouth twisted. “But, you are not really doing anything-”</p><p> </p><p>“<em> I’m with you,” </em>Langa breathes, and Reki’s mouth falls open. “That’s all I need- I’m. God. If you need me to tell you a thousand times I will. Skating. Snowboarding. Being in class, work- it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you-”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> God this sounds so much like a- </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Can you stop being gay and start snowboarding? I have to take the boards back to the shop before we close, I told the boss you were using them, Langa, but we only have a couple hours left.”</p><p> </p><p>Langa nods, and she goes away to one of the drag lifts. He turns again to face Reki, gulping down.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to try going for a circuit?” Reki blinks. “I’ll be right behind you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” Reki mumbles, and Langa smiles, soft and warm, eyes crinkling at the sides. He’s fucking beautiful. “Race you to the top,” he blurts out, and starts running up the hill, leaving Langa with his board.</p><p> </p><p>They end up going to the beginners circuit. The sun is barely poking through the clouds, and even though it’s just the afternoon, is a lot darker and colder now. Su joins them, and she teases Reki lightheartedly, so he has to show her.</p><p> </p><p>He fastens the straps of the board to his feet, stands up in the second try and slides the board little by little, until he’s on the edge. He takes a breath, and plunges.</p><p> </p><p>Su’s hollering follows him down the slope, and so does Langa, he confirms, looking backwards once. Reki is going down in a wide zigzag, a lot smoother, but just as fast as he would go skating. The wind sweps at his sides as he flexes his knees, the strain of the whole day taking a toll on him. But he pushes through it, taking a turn swiftly.</p><p> </p><p>A grin stretches across his face when he pulls it off, and he feels like shouting too. Langa passes him, and Reki snickers, lowering his legs to go faster. </p><p> </p><p>He comes dangerously close to the borders, but he turns in time, and is plummeting to the end in one second.</p><p> </p><p>He falls then, on his butt, rather than collapsing against the people that are taking the chair lift. Langa is by his side in a minute, smiling too, and he crouches, lending Reki a hand.</p><p> </p><p>He takes it, because taking Langa’s hands is always too easy, and lets Langa hoist him up. “That was amazing! Did you see how fast I was going?!”</p><p> </p><p>“You were amazing,” Langa says earnestly, and Reki feels his cheeks heating up. He takes his straps off, and follows Langa to the chair lift, moving with one feet and dragging the board with the other one. “And it’s only your first day.”</p><p> </p><p>“A pro by the end of the week,” Rekis says proudly. Langa chuckles, taking both their cards off as they get into the queue, Su already there. She helps him get into the chairlift and they both chatter idly as it goes up. </p><p> </p><p>Reki eyes the snowboard, hanging from his foot, as they go over the circuit. The mountains appear behind the pines, the views taking his breath away. “Hold on- hold on- I need to take a picture of this.”</p><p> </p><p>Grandma is going to love this. And his sisters are going to die of envy. He side eyes Langa, sitting quietly. After a couple shots of the mountains, Reki tilts his phone so they are both in frame, throwing his arm around his friend. He seems himself on the screen and takes the helmet and beanie off, cause he’s simply <em> not </em>going to look bad for this, putting it on his lap. Langa does too, sweeping his hair back. Su sticks her tongue out. </p><p> </p><p>“Smile!” he says, and just as he’s leaning on Langa and pressing the button, he sees the beanie slipping off his lap and falling into the forest. “NO!”</p><p> </p><p>Langa frowns, looking down, and Su bursts out laughing.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck- Langa, it was yours, I’m <em> so sorry- </em>” </p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, I’ll go take it,” Langa reassures him with a smile. “Did the picture turn out okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Huh?” Langa takes the phone from him, sweeping. </p><p> </p><p>“There’s only a good one,” Langa laments. “You look mortified here.”</p><p> </p><p>“I lost your beanie!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll go take it right now, don’t worry,” Langa smiles. “You go ahead and start changing in the cabin.”</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh- I’m sorry though,” Reki says, still looking down. “I’ll get you another one if you can’t find it-”</p><p> </p><p>“Reki, it's fine.” Langa squeezes his hand, and Reki looks up. The gloves <em> shouldn’t </em> allow the warmth to seep through, but somehow it does. And maybe he is a fool but he trusts Langa when he says it’s fine.</p><p> </p><p>He puts the helmet on again and straps his feet. Su helps him get down, telling him when to jump, and comes with him to the cabin. Reki has just finished changing by the time Langa comes down, waving the beanie with a smile. Reki bites his lip, and Langa frowns slightly, before putting it over his own head.</p><p> </p><p>“So you don’t lose it again,” he says with a serious face, and Reki bursts out laughing.</p><p> </p><p>They walk the rest of the way down, and help Su get everything back to the shop, parting ways in the car.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s nice,” Reki says, as Langa back overs, almost bumping into her. She gives them the finger.</p><p> </p><p>“She is,” Langa nods with a fond smile. “We’ve been friends since we were kids and I’m used to her, but she didn’t say anything that bothered you, did she?” </p><p> </p><p>“Huh? No, not at all.” Reki bites his lips. “I was a little surprised about the whole dating thing but-”</p><p> </p><p>Langa groans. “That was dumb,” he says, and Reki leans on the headrest to look at him. “Like- we didn’t <em> really </em>date? It was a weird way of phrasing it, we-”</p><p> </p><p>Reki reaches over, hand over Langa’s on the gear. “It’s okay, you don’t have to justify yourself or anything. It’s not like we are actually dating,” he says, with a chuckle. Langa frowns. That wasn’t the right thing to say. “Even if we were- that’s, that’s okay, you know. You are friends now, and that’s cool.” </p><p> </p><p>Langa grimaces, and Reki squeezes his hand one more, before taking it away and curling it on his lap. He shouldn’t have said anything. </p><p> </p><p>The silence on the car is deafening, not even the amazing views making it easier. Reki sighs. He unlocks his phone, and his picture with Langa mocks him from the screen. He smiles despite himself, and puts it as his background. He opens spotify and connects the bluetooth, to one of Langa’s favorites. When he looks again, Langa’s face has softened.</p><p> </p><p>Reki sings, and Langa joins for the chorus.</p><p> </p><p>It’s okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Introducing Langa's canadian bestie: su the legendary lesbian<br/>Im not going to say we need more women in this show but,,,<br/>We Need More Women In This Show &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>EYYYYYYYYYYYY SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG<br/>ngl this chapter was hard to write and im stressed about it because im used to write much more plot heavy things so i dont feel 100% satisfied with what im writing and then i dont post it and adsfgsadfgfh</p><p>BUT HERE IT IS ANYWAY, and thats only because the amazing  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitane/pseuds/vitane">vitane</a> for beating this and being my personal cheerleader to update it &lt;3&lt;3 &lt;3</p><p>so, i hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Koyomi,” Reki grumbles, nudging the person behind him. “Koyomi, not again- you haven’t been sleepwalking in so long-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A grunt that’s very distinctly </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> his younger sister sobers Reki up immediately. The arm over his waist is too pale, the hand is too big to belong to any of his sisters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A puff of breath tickles his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Langa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend grunts, shoving his head further into Reki’s neck, and a nervous laugh bursts out of him. He lifts Langa’s arm and twists until he’s face to face with him. Reki chuckles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa,” he says softly, brushing a strand of hair out of his closed eyes. His friend doesn’t answer, and Reki gives himself one moment, only one more moment to look at his delicate features, nose a little sunburnt from yesterday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Against everything inside him screaming at him to do it, Reki doesn’t kiss it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he leans over him, stretching his arm until he can find his phone, and grabs it, lying on the bed again. Langa’s hand twitches, and Reki smiles. When he unlocks the phone, he finds out it’s actually not his but Langa’s, Reki-LS2 in all its old glory as Langa’s background. Even after Reki made him more, Langa’s still attached to his first skateboard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s cute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s also past breakfast time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa.” Reki nudges him, but his friend only groans, pulling the blankets up to his nose. “Oi- don’t hide. Langa.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hgnngn,” he says eloquently. Reki gets under the blankets too, poking him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Psh, Langa, c’mon, get up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t let me sleep yesterday,” Langa grumbles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to go snowboarding.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Langaaa,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Reki whines, and Langa frowns, but opens his eyes, black taking up the blue as he focuses his eyes on Reki’s. “Come with me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa bites his lip, and something shifts. In this moment, it’s just them, under the blanket and hidden from the entire world, breaths mingling and faces illuminated by the light of Langa’s phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come with me,” he says again, scooting closer, just a little, legs pressing together and hands just shy of brushing each other. Just enough to catch Langa's eyes drifting down to his mouth and then up again. Just enough to light a million fireworks inside Reki’s ribcage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa takes a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki gulps down, and Langa eyes follow that too. He licks his lips once. His heart beats in his ribcage and this close, Langa might me hearing it. Langa opens his mouth, biting it, and Reki can’t stop looking. His chest hurts. “Reki, I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Boys</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” Langa’s grandfather's voice calls from the outside. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Grandma and I are going to buy a cake for later, you guys handle breakfast?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes grandpa</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Langa calls, and without the weight of his eyes on him, Reki can finally take a breath. His heart is still threatening to get out of his chest when Langa stretches his arms over his head, only to lean against the headrest again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki nudges at him with his leg. “Don’t get comfy, you have to make me breakfast,” he says, and before Langa can protest, he climbs over him and runs to the bathroom. “I call dibs on the shower!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You always go first anyways!” Langa groans, but Reki knows there’s no malice behind his words, and smiles at his reflection when he hears the bed creaking as Langa gets out of it and puts on slippers. “Tea?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare put-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No sugar, yes, I know,” Langa says, tone fond. Langa is all weird habits like this. Never sitting properly, not bowing, and apparently, sugar in tea. The first time he made Reki tea he almost spat it on him. Langa doesn’t care about what’s traditional, not really, but he does care about making tea the way Reki likes it. He bites his lip, looking down at his socks. “I’ll make some pancakes too, okay? I’ll shower later, take your time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki hums, and Langa mutters a soft ‘see you in a bit’, before walking out of the room and closing the door. Reki leans over the counter, his fingers tingling and his chest feeling warm. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s the best,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he thinks, and then, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wow, I really love h-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks up at his own reflection. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who said anything about love?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>*</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki comes into the kitchen rubbing his hair with a small towel, and Langa sighs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We have a hairdryer, Reki.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you!” he says peeking over Langa’s shoulder. Langa leans back and Reki catches him easily, arms around him to grab on the counter. It’s their normal, or it has come to be. He flips a pancake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah- the noise bothers you but you are-” He bumps his shoulder on Reki’s nose. “Dripping water everywhere. And you’ll catch a cold.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How would I even catch a cold when you keep the house this warm,” Reki says, taking another dish for breakfast. “Speaking of- I took this shirt from your suitcase, I hope that’s okay.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, of course,” Langa says, a smile easily taking over his face. He pours the last remains of the pancake mix on the pan, a lump of flour almost falling before he tips the bowl. Reki takes it from his hands, and takes the excess with his finger, licking it. Langa grimaces. “Ew. Don’t do that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki chuckles, and rolls up Langa’s shirt sleeves before washing the bowl. It’s not super long on him, just a little bigger on the shoulders, but despite how well he pulls them off, Reki says he doesn’t like shirts that much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa likes him in sweatshirts better anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He takes breakfast to the table and Reki sits next to him on the stool, slapping his hands together and muttering before starting to eat. Langa imitates him, he always tries to not be disrespectful about this stuff with Reki, even when he insists he does it for himself and Langa doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“No snowboarding today then?” Reki asks, mouth full, which </span><em><span>should</span></em> <em><span>be </span></em><span>incredibly disgusting, but for some reason isn’t. Langa knows the reason.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can still go,” Langa says, feeling a little guilty about before. He didn’t mean to tell Reki to go by himself, he was just tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I mean-” Reki says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Langa sighs and gives him a napkin. “Isn’t it your grandma’s birthday today? That’s why they went for the cake? Did I get that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Langa says, checking today’s date on his phone. “Yeah you are right- we can still be back here for dinner, though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki shakes his head, frowning. “Dude- it’s your grandma’s birthday! You have to spend it with her. I’m sure she misses you like crazy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, yeah…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can watch her favorite movie!” Reki says excitedly. “And play games! What do old people like to do here? My granny loves Daifugou and Shogi.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm...” Reki nods, like he does when he wants Langa to elaborate, share what he’s thinking. Most of the time it’s hard, because Langa isn’t really thinking about anything. And the rest of the time he’s thinking about Reki and that’s just embarrassing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Charades,” he says. “We used to play charades at Christmas. And scrabble, but I don’t think you can play scrabble.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, charades is fine. We can play with your mom too!” He grabs his phone and starts typing. Langa watches him over the rim of his cup.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki goes off, mostly talking to himself, about how they can do it in both Japanese and English, eating the rest of his pancakes without looking up from his phone as he types. The dishwasher beeps, he mumbles something about Langa going to the shower and how Reki can finish tidying up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He finishes his coffee, and considers taking the last pancake, but he has easily eaten  double than Reki, so he grabs an apple instead. He washes it when he stands up, and only stops at the doorstep for a second to watch Reki hunched over the phone and thinking out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa could do this every morning for the rest of his life and he’d be happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanako arrives a couple hours later with Langa’s grandparents in tow, and they display the chosen three chocolate cakes to Reki and Langa. Reki isn’t super big on sweets, but Langa is, and he can feel him gulping down as he eyes the desert, trying to feigning subtlety when he asks what time they are going to eat it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>For dinner honey</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Langa’s grandma says smacking his hand away. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>You can go do something else in the meantime</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Reki says, pulling out his phone. He types something on google translator but gives up halfway. He looks at Langa, pursing his lips, and Langa furrows his brows for a second, but catches up immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Reki said-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he mumbles, but Langa rolls his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was all him, don’t mind him,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Langa’s family shares a confused look. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“That it would be better if we stayed and spent the day with you guys. He said we could watch some movies and play uh-” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he turns again to Reki. “Sorry, what was it we were going to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Charades.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Charades,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Langa nods and his grandparents beam. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dear! It’s really not necessary, we wouldn’t want you to waste a day here just doing nothing with us-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, you can both go snowboard and see the town-”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa?” Reki laughs nervously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They are saying thant you are very sweet.” Reki feels his cheeks warming up. “And that it’s very thoughtful of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He makes a strangled noise, and tucks his head to the side, probably failing to hide a blush. Langa grabs his hand, and Reki intertwines their fingers before he can actually think about what he’s doing. They just fit, is that Reki’s fault? And he’s supposed to be Langa’s boyfriend anyway. He can justify this stuff when the rest of the family is still looking. He can make the most of it while it lasts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“T-thank you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he manages to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“And no problem!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa’s grandparents look at each other and then pat his shoulder, chatting among themselves excitedly and going back to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa’s mom is looking at them funny.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki lets his friend pull him back to the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grandma ends up choosing some cheesy movie from the 60’s</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not that old,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she tells him, pinching his cheek. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You just have no taste.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, we even found it colorized, for you,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>grandpa says, and Langa grunts. Reki is probably only understanding half the words, but he chuckles anyway, the movement tickling Langa’s chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki is sitting with his legs tucked, eyes glued to the tv and reading the subtitles, and mom is on his other side. She says something about Langa eating popcorn again despite having eaten breakfast just barely a couple hours ago, but Langa only grumbles and stuffs his face with more popcorn in response. Reki, the ass kisser he truly is, takes the bowl away from him, putting it over the armrest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa scowls.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki,” he huffs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pay attention to the movie,” he mutters, but Langa frowns. He scoots a little, moving his arm over Reki’s shoulders to get to the bowl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He realizes halfway through, and his arm freezes. This is the kind of move he sees boys try to pull on the girls they like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Reki is not a girl - thank god - so he doesn’t get it, and instead sighs, but moves the bowl from the armrest to his lap. Langa can reach better now, with both of his arms, actually, but his hand twitches, just shy of actually finishing his course over Reki’s shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki does it all the time. He’s always all over Langa, and that’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honey brown eyes look up, questioning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Paul and Corie sing about their romance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa musters all the courage he usually reserves for sports, and finally settles his arm, taking a handful of popcorn with the other. Reki quirks an eyebrow, but smiles at him, and leans further into Langa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa’s heart soars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mom asks at some point after it finishes if they want lunch but nobody is really hungry and Langa doesn’t want to move, so she quickly resumes, playing the next film. Langa groans.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not again,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he whines. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki looks up. “Hm?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gestures vaguely to the dvd his mom is putting on the old tv. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Mon oncle Antoine.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh- What was that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Langa blinks, sitting up straighter. “Uhm- my uncle... Antoine? It’s French. It’s a quebecois film.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quebec...?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s where Langa was born,” mom says, taking her seat again. “We moved here when he was 8 or so.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“9,” Langa reminds her, she waves him off. “Grandma was born there too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Reki says, practically jumping on the couch. Langa doesn’t whine at the loss of warmth at his side. “You speak French?!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, yeah?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki gasps. “Dude! You never told me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s not like you can speak it?” Langa says scratching his neck. “And you never asked…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man... that’s amazing,” Reki says, leaning back again. Langa holds still until Reki rests his head on Langa’s shoulder. “Is there something you can’t do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh,” Langa can come up with a dozen things he’s fairly shitty at, but the pride he feels whenever Reki looks at him like that, it’s addicting. And right now, he feels like he </span>
  <em>
    <span>can</span>
  </em>
  <span> do anything. But that’s a lie, and he doesn’t lie to Reki. “Uhm. Math. Art. Communicating. </span>
  <em>
    <span>People</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You are better at all this stuff,” he says softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He isn’t lying, Langa truly isn’t good at people, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span>, for some inexplicable reason, good at Reki. And as expected, his words, his clumsy, clumsy words have the effect he wants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki rolls his eyes, but he isn’t able to hide the subtle blush dusting his cheeks and the bridge of his nose from Langa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shh, boys, it’s about to start,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>grandma says waving her hand. Reki does a zipping motion with his hand and hands her the invisible zip, positively melting Langa’s heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grandma smiles, and pockets it with a laugh. Grandpa looks at her fondly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s a good one Langa,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>grandpa mutters. It’s Langa’s cheek turn to heat up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nods. Reki looks up, with that smile that means he didn’t understand and Langa just leans his head on top of Reki’s. His friend curls his hand intoon a fist and punches him lightly, but Langa just grins and keeps eating popcorn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki’s eyes itch uncomfortably by the time the movie ends. Nobody else seems to have the same problem. He’s a crier, he won’t be embarrassed by that. Langa has seen him cry more times than anyone, probably. His family is a whole different deal, so he stands up and mumbles something about getting lunch. Nanako comes with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s helping her make some sandwiches for everyone when she apologises for making him go through a sad film.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, it’s okay,” he reassures her. It can’t be easy for them to watch a film about a funeral, can it? And still, he was basically the only one crying. Stupid. “I just wasn't expecting that, I guess.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s grandma’s favorite film,” she says, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, the same exact way Langa does, Reki notices. “She says it reminds her of her childhood. We used to watch it every Christmas.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Reki says, filling some glasses with water. She hums.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Christmas is a big thing in Canada, you know?” she says. “It was weird for me at first, but here it’s all about family. So if she wants to watch that film? Well... we watch it,” she chuckles, and Reki smiles. His grandma is a little like that too. She doesn’t really like movies that much, she prefers reading, but she used to read a lot of stuff for him and Koyomi when they were kids, and now he still watches her do it to the twins. Always the same stories.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They came to visit last Christmas,” she says, handing him some dishes. “And we started it and all… but we weren’t able to finish it. And the Christmas before that, we didn’t even try.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki bites the inside of his cheek. She looks up for a moment, a sad smile in place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But watching it now… it was nice. It was normal, in a way? I don’t know if I’m making sense,” she chuckles, tucking her hair back again. “I’m probably not…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no, you are making sense, Hasegawa-san.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki, I told you, Nanako is fine, you are Langa’s boyfriend, just call me Nanako, please,” she says softly. Reki nods. “But… thank you. My point is, your idea about the movies was good, I’m sure it was cathartic for Samuel and Clérine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nods, lost at words, and she smiles back, squeezing his arm once before walking off to the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki busies himself washing up what’s left in the sink, giving them a few more moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s not like he’s part of this family, not really.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks inevitably of Langa’s eyes when he looks at him, and his hands that always seem to trail after Reki’s, of his words, which stay tangled in knots in Langa’s throat. He can see Langa’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he can feel it, in how he cages Reki in his arms when they sleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This could very well be Reki projecting, but lately it has felt as if-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He turns, and Langa is leaning over the doorstep, head cocked to the side, hair falling on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you coming?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As if maybe it wasn’t just Reki’s imagination.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Today, 2:17)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Yo</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hasegawa</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Read</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>(Today, 3:38)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bitch? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Are you ignoring me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Omfg god no todays your grannys bday isnt it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Give her a kiss from me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>From her favorite granddaughter in law</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Read</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>(Today, 4:12)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>NOOO NO DUDE WAIT</span>
</p><p>
  <span>REKI PROBABLY TOOK MY PLACE OR SMTH</span>
</p><p>
  <span>U kno what i wont give up my title until u date him for real</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So get it together</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Read</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>(Today 4:35)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>shut up</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he speaks!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>how is it going</span>
</p><p>
  <span>tell me tell me tell me</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i woke up hugging him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i wanted to like dig a hole and die but never leave the bed at the same time</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and hes so nice with my grandparents</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and my mom loves him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he is nice</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i bet hes the type of dude to like, wear snapbacks and drink whiteclaws n shit but hes nice</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>reki isnt a fratboy</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>frat-ish</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>your girlfriend is more of  afratboy than reki will ever be</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>good point i guess</span>
</p><p>
  <span>did i tell you shes a hockey player</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>today only once</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you are so funny</span>
</p><p>
  <span>back to your boy problems</span>
</p><p>
  <span>how are you, im asking seriously</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>im fine</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but ifeel like</span>
</p><p>
  <span>idk</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>babe </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>scared he will eventually realise but also scared that he wont</span>
</p><p>
  <span>at this point i just want to have the real thing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i cant stop thinking about it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>it seems so easy?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>i can just reach and grab his hand and wake up in sheets that smell like him </span>
</p><p>
  <span>i dont want to go back to when that didnt happen</span>
</p><p>
  <span>its so easy being w him it feels wrong that its not real</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>langa :(</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but it cant </span>
</p><p>
  <span>cause reki doesnt know </span>
</p><p>
  <span>and im too scared of scaring him away to tell him</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>idk he might know</span>
</p><p>
  <span>like</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you arent exactly subtle </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>no he doesnt know</span>
</p><p>
  <span>reki is very smart but also very oblivious</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>says u</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(me)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he wouldnt be as close to me if he knew</span>
</p><p>
  <span>hes touching me all the time</span>
</p><p>
  <span>n grabbing my hand and stuff</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>??????????</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Langa?? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>if anything that means that he likes you u dumbass</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa?” He looks up, clutching his phone to his chest. Reki nods towards his glass of water. “Are you going to drink that? I’m dry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm- no, go ahead.” Reki beams and takes Langa’s glass, drowning it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Man, you have to drink more water. You are like.” He scrunches up his nose. “A snow cactus.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A snow cactus.” Reki hums. Langa doesn’t think he’s a snow cactus, or any type of cactus for the matter, but if Reki says it, maybe Langa is. There must be some kind of metaphor there. Or maybe it’s a joke. He doesn’t really know what to answer. “I’ll drink more water,” he decides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Remi smiles, and Langa’s heart flutters. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are no wrong answers with Reki. Everything he says is welcomed, everything he doesn’t is understood as well. He can look in Reki’s eyes and tell him whatever he needs without words, as ridiculous as it sounds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you texting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Su,” he says. Reki purses his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, so maybe there are wrong answers with Reki after all. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Langa panics, just a little. He scrambles for something else to say, anything, when his phone rings again. The screen lights up with a new message. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s staring as he always is at Reki, so he follows the movement of his eyes down to Langa’s phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>New message</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>(the one that got away)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>he likes u okay? trust me on this</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has never swiped faster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa turns his phone off but Reki sees it. Reki is not the best at speaking English but he reads a lot of articles and magazines about boards, and overall his comprehension is a lot better than Langa seems to think. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Langa’s family gathers around the couch he types the words in google. It’s what he thought. He side eyes his friend. Is he not over his ex?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then why…?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nanako hands them out the cards when she’s done writing the translation in Japanese right under the English word, and Reki thanks her with a smile. Langa’s hands curls on his knee. Fuck, did he catch up already?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll start!” He grabs a bunch of cards. “Haseg- Nanako?” She gives him a thumbs up, turning the little sand clock upside down. “Okay!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki grins excitedly when he reads the first card. He lifts three fingers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three words.” Langa nods. Reki makes a crown with his hands. “Prince. King?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A house shape with his hands. “House. Oh, oh- castle!” Reki nods excitedly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck what now- </span>
  </em>
  <span>he shrugs and pretends to fly. “Fly? Bird?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not working. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Reki points at Langa and then at himself, and then pretends to fall asleep on an invisible shoulder. “Oh- oh- it’s the Ghibli one your sister likes- the last one we saw?” He nods. “Howl’s Moving Castle!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” Reki shouts and takes another card. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Back to the future? I haven’t seen it, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he puts it in the back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cinderella.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Movie Saturday with the twins is going to win them this. He lifts one finger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One word.” Reki flutters his lashes and twirls with an invisible dress. “Princess.” Reki points at his shoe. “Cinderella!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki is smiling again by the time they are counting their points. Grandpa and mom have been a great team and are waving around their 21 points. Langa used to team up with his father and grandma, back when they played this every other night. He wasn’t the type of person to go out with friends, not really, so more often than not his Fridays consisted of family dinners and boardgames.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Su dragged him outside once or twice a month, because he didn’t want to be a bad friend, but he genuinely enjoyed the time he got to spend with his family more. He never realized how much he had missed it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A picture of his dad catches his eye from the shelf, and Langa smiles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fuck man, 18,” Reki whines, throwing himself at the couch. “We definitely need to widen our repertoire dude, only watching princess movies with my sisters is giving us brain rot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I like those movies,” Langa says, laying his head on the couch and looking at him, just to hear Reki complain some more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What? No way! Dude, they are for </span>
  <em>
    <span>children-</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he thinks, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you would have loved him, Dad.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They sing happy birthday and Langa’s grandma blows on her candles. It’s already dark outside by the time they are done with dinner, but it’s not super late. Nanako helps them clean up and leaves, kissing Langa’s cheek despite her son’s best efforts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point Langa’s grandparents say goodnight too, even though it’s not even 9 PM, and leave them alone in the living room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa and him are watching videos on Reki’s phone, Langa’s head lazily on Reki’s shoulder as he holds it up for both of them to see. He’s playing idly with Reki’s finger, but he’s paying much more attention than Reki, commenting on the jumps and the technique.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hasn’t seen Langa text Su again, but Reki hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Should he ask? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’s going to come off as jealous, and that makes him bite his tongue. Fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He isn’t anything to Langa, he doesn’t have any right to ask about this stuff, not when they don’t have to pretend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But maybe as a friend? He’d ask other friends about this, right? That’s normal. He can put it that way. Probably. Yeah, it’s a good plan-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki,” Langa mutters. His fringe falls over his eyes when he looks up, and Reki gulps, choking down the need to brush it off his eyes. “Do you want to do something else?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no, no I’m fine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you aren’t paying attention,” Langa says frowning. “We can go do something, we’ve been inside all day.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s late,” Reki tries, but Langa purses his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind,” Langa says sitting up, leaning on his elbows. “I have the car keys-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa, there’s no need-” Langa stands up, walking to the bedroom. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Langa.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gets like this, pigheaded and impossible to talk out of, and Reki gives in, getting into his warmer clothes, tossing Langa’s shirt to their bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He grabs the coat and the beanie, and once at the door, he puts on the boots, following Langa outside. He rubs his hands together, blowing hot air that comes out in a white puff. Langa turns on the heating, and promises they are going somewhere close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s nobody on the streets at this hour, and they don’t find many cars on their way out of town. Reki plays some music, switching the radio when a boring song pops up as they drive up the mountain in silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa parks nowhere, in the first place he can, and urges Reki outside. He follows, a smile stretching wide on his face easily with Langa’s contagious excitement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Where are we?” he says, closing the door behind him, and Langa skips to his side, eyes gleaming, even in this darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ll see, but close your eyes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa, I can’t barely see anything anyways.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trust me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki sighs, closing his eyes, and stretching his arms in front of him until he hears Langa chuckle and grab his hand, tugging him forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Careful with your footing, there’s snow.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s snow everywhere,” Reki laughs, and Langa squeezes his hand. They walk between bushes and into the forest, and at some point Langa slows down, easing Reki on a rock, or something. It’s cold, but not unbearably so. Not when Langa is so close. “Can I open them now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Langa breathes out. “On three.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Reki agrees easily, butterflies crawling up his throat. “One…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Two-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Three!” Reki snaps his eyes open, and he gasps, the views taking the breath away from him like a punch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They are practically at the edge of a cliff, the forest opening up in a clearance and giving away to a magnificent view of the entire valley, the town’s lights blinking, framed by the mountains and divided by the river.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Langa,” he whispers, unable to clouth his mouth. “This is beautiful...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friend hums. “Right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki nods, and it’s too dark to see Langa’s face, but he thinks he’s smiling. He looks up, and the sky greets him with a thousand stars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve never seen such a clear sky,” he says, gulping down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s too many lights in Japan,” Langa says, and Reki nods. “Do you like it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you serious? Langa!” he cries. “Of course I like it, this must be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can come back tomorrow so you can see it indaylight.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I like the night sky better,” Reki says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can try to catch the sunset. And bring blankets, and something to eat, so we can stay longer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Or,” Reki points out. “We can stay now? I’m not cold.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki, we can’t stay here for too long.” He whines, and Langa grasps his shoulder. “C’mon, we’ll come back tomorrow. You are going to hurt your neck like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“‘m not,” he grumbles, but Langa tugs at his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll bring a pillow or something too, so you can look up all you want, promise.” Reki gives in, and lights his phone’s torch, following Langa back to the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looks back once when they reach it, the lookout now hidden by the trees. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This felt special. Secret. Nobody had taken him to a place like this before, ever. Something lights up inReki’s chest as he thinks about it, as he thinks of kissing Langa atthat same spot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa’s phone rings again, and Reki knows who it is. He tries to ignore the sour taste in his mouth, the ugly, heavy thing sitting in his stomach. He really tries, it’s not like he’s really dating Langa, and even if he were, this shouldn’t matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But as bad as he feels about it, it does.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can I ask you something?” Langa hums. Reki looks at his hands, curling them up on his lap. “Did you take Su here too? When you guys were dating?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no-” Langa says, and Reki’s frown deepens. “I… I’ve been meaning to tell you- thanks for reminding me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh- you are welcome?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Su and I never dated, not really,” Langa says and Reki’s officially lost. “Not that I could- I mean. I’m gay. She’s too. There was an issue on her basketball team… and Revelstoke is a small village you know- people talk. And I really hated seeing my bestfriend so sad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you pretended to date?” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Like us? Is this your normal?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t want to lie but she was graduating, and I wasn’t ready to come out anyway so we decided to be each other’s covers,” he laughs nervously, hands gripping the wheel tightly. “So- yeah. We never…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You never dated.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, never. Ew.” Reki laughs at the face he makes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dude- how did you even pretend to do anything if you are so disgusted by the idea of it?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God-” Langa whines. “We kissed once and I washed my teeth for like, 10 mintues.” Reki snorts. “We were at each other's houses all the time, we just said we were dating and people rolled with it, honestly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah there was no need tolike-” Reki looks at him, and with the lights from the street he can see the faint blush on Langa’s face. “Uh- had to, you know. Do anything. Like we do…” Langa says, and clears his throat. “Like you and I do, I mean.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reki hums, somehow feeling like that’s a victory for him. Something untangles in Reki’s stomach with each one of Langa’s words, the ugly feeling fading. He never considered himself a jealous person, even if he was aware of his own insecurities and shortcomings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I have never taken anybody up there,” Langa mutters. “I promise.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, that makes sense now,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Reki thinks </span>
  <em>
    <span>The way he looks at me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The way that his touch lingers even when nobody is there to see them, even when they don’t have to sell their pretend relationship.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He might be not good at history or science or whatever, but Reki considers himself smart. Good at reading people. Not only their skating, or their posture, just, people in general. He goes with his gut feeling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And his gut has been filled with butterflies since he met Langa.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Langa has done the impossible for him ever since he’s known him. Langa, despite all his awkwardness and all his silences and frowns and jabs and scrunched up noses, despite all his stuck words that he ends up blabbering in English, he didn’t have any problems going on about how incredible he thought Reki was time and time again whenever he was feeling down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It might be wishful thinking, it very well could be, but he feels that if he asked, Langa would give him the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because it's the same way for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Reki, are you listening?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hm, yeah,” he says, and Langa huffs because he knows Reki’s lying, but he doesn’t care. Reki eyes his pale hands, and his fingers twitch once before feeling bold and reaching over his seat, over Langa’s hand on the gear.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>at least reki knows!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>please let me know what you think :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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